Killing Ourselves With Torture

The Washington Post published an article today by the former US Army interrogation officer who extracted the information from a prisoner that led to the successful targeting of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, by a military strike.

The information was extracted without the use of torture. But yet, they broke the biggest intelligence case in Iraq other than the location of Saddam Hussein himself.

In fact, this pseudonymous officer (whose real name was withheld for security reasons) did not allow the interrogators under his command to use the "enhanced interrogation techniques" being practiced at Guantanamo or Abu Ghraib.

I know the counter-argument well -- that we need the rough stuff for the truly hard cases, such as battle-hardened core leaders of al-Qaeda, not just run-of-the-mill Iraqi insurgents. But that's not always true: We turned several hard cases, including some foreign fighters, by using our new techniques. A few of them never abandoned the jihadist cause but still gave up critical information. One actually told me, "I thought you would torture me, and when you didn't, I decided that everything I was told about Americans was wrong. That's why I decided to cooperate."

Torture and abuse are against my moral fabric. The cliche still bears repeating: Such outrages are inconsistent with American principles. And then there's the pragmatic side: Torture and abuse cost American lives.

I learned in Iraq that the No. 1 reason foreign fighters flocked there to fight were the abuses carried out at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo. Our policy of torture was directly and swiftly recruiting fighters for al-Qaeda in Iraq. The large majority of suicide bombings in Iraq are still carried out by these foreigners. They are also involved in most of the attacks on U.S. and coalition forces in Iraq. It's no exaggeration to say that at least half of our losses and casualties in that country have come at the hands of foreigners who joined the fray because of our program of detainee abuse. The number of U.S. soldiers who have died because of our torture policy will never be definitively known, but it is fair to say that it is close to the number of lives lost on Sept. 11, 2001. How anyone can say that torture keeps Americans safe is beyond me -- unless you don't count American soldiers as Americans.

How strange the Dick Cheneys and Donald Rumsfelds didn't bother to ask the veterans of "the Greatest Generation" how they handled the "hard cases" when they interrogated Nazi officers during World War II. Their work was recently declassified and they were finally given the recognition they deserved. And they also had some harsh words for their modern counterparts.

The group of World War II veterans kept a military code and the decorum of their generation, telling virtually no one of their top-secret work interrogating Nazi prisoners of war at Fort Hunt.

When about two dozen veterans got together yesterday for the first time since the 1940s, many of the proud men lamented the chasm between the way they conducted interrogations during the war and the harsh measures used today in questioning terrorism suspects.

Back then, they and their commanders wrestled with the morality of bugging prisoners' cells with listening devices. They felt bad about censoring letters. They took prisoners out for steak dinners to soften them up. They played games with them.

"We got more information out of a German general with a game of chess or Ping-Pong than they do today, with their torture," said Henry Kolm, 90, an MIT physicist who had been assigned to play chess in Germany with Hitler's deputy, Rudolf Hess.

Blunt criticism of modern enemy interrogations was a common refrain at the ceremonies held beside the Potomac River near Alexandria. Several of the veterans, all men in their 80s and 90s, denounced the controversial techniques. And when the time came for them to accept honors from the Army's Freedom Team Salute, one veteran refused, citing his opposition to the war in Iraq and procedures that have been used at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.

As any student of American history can tell you, our nation's policy against torture is as old as the nation itself. It so was ordered by the first Supreme Commander of the army himself, General George Washington.

"In 1776," wrote historian David Hackett Fischer in "Washington's Crossing," "American leaders believed it was not enough to win the war. They also had to win in a way that was consistent with the values of their society and the principles of their cause. One of their greatest achievements … was to manage the war in a manner that was true to the expanding humanitarian ideals of the American Revolution."

The fact that the patriots refused to abandon these principles, even in the dark times when the war seemed lost, when the enemy controlled our cities and our ragged army was barefoot and starving, credits the character of Washington and the founding fathers and puts to shame the conduct of America's present leadership.

Fischer writes that leaders in both the Continental Congress and the Continental Army resolved that the War of Independence would be conducted with a respect for human rights. This was all the more extraordinary because these courtesies were not reciprocated by King George's armies. Indeed, the British conducted a deliberate campaign of atrocities against American soldiers and civilians. While Americans extended quarter to combatants as a matter of right and treated their prisoners with humanity, British regulars and German mercenaries were threatened by their own officers with severe punishment if they showed mercy to a surrendering American soldier. Captured Americans were tortured, starved and cruelly maltreated aboard prison ships.

Washington decided to behave differently. After capturing 1,000 Hessians in the Battle of Trenton, he ordered that enemy prisoners be treated with the same rights for which our young nation was fighting. In an order covering prisoners taken in the Battle of Princeton, Washington wrote: "Treat them with humanity, and let them have no reason to Complain of our Copying the brutal example of the British Army in their treatment of our unfortunate brethren…. Provide everything necessary for them on the road."

John Adams argued that humane treatment of prisoners and deep concern for civilian populations not only reflected the American Revolution's highest ideals, they were a moral and strategic requirement. His thoughts on the subject, expressed in a 1777 letter to his wife, might make a profitable read for Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld as we endeavor to win hearts and minds in Iraq. Adams wrote: "I know of no policy, God is my witness, but this — Piety, Humanity and Honesty are the best Policy. Blasphemy, Cruelty and Villainy have prevailed and may again. But they won't prevail against America, in this Contest, because I find the more of them are employed, the less they succeed."

Let us hope that our new president fulfills his promise to end this stain on Amercia's honor.

How To Rebuild The Republican Party

Now, why would I want to give them any advice?

Well, for one thing, I know they won't follow it. Not yet, anyway. Maybe never.

To hear the "movement" conservatives whine, they think the problem is that they weren't "conservative enough".

Here's South Carolina governor Mark Sanford:

Our party took nothing short of a shellacking nationally. Some on the left will say our electoral losses are a repudiation of our principles of lower taxes, smaller government and individual liberty. But Election Day was not a rejection of those principles — in fact, cutting taxes and spending were important tenets of Barack Obama’s campaign.

Instead, voters rejected the fact that while Republicans have campaigned on the conservative themes of lower taxes, less government and more freedom, they have consistently failed to govern that way. Americans didn’t turn away from conservatism, they instead turned away from many who faked it.

I believe this is a flawed analysis, because it's based on a bad assumption, namely the meaning of "conservative." Or at least, the original principles of the Republican Party.

If a core "conservative" belief is that all government is inherently wasteful, inept, and ineffective - "government is the problem, not the solution" - then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conservatives told us that government doesn't work, then they got elected and proved it.

"Lower taxes?" What does that mean really? Lower than what? How low? That's a tenet that reaches an absurd conclusion - if "lowering taxes" is good, why not lower them to zero? Besides a few extreme libertarians, no one thinks that's a feasible conclusion.

"Less government?" Sure, as long as that includes things like a smaller military-industrial complex, the elimination of the insane, untenable "war on drugs" and a general shrinking of the bloated prison industry - governmental expenses that are shown to be obscenely wasteful ($700 hammers, anyone?) - then liberals could get on board with it. But today's conservatives only want to shrink the parts of the government they disagree with, like banking and environmental regulations, and social safety nets. Their version of "less government" is synonymous with "incompetent government", which is what we got under Bush II.

"More freedom?" Sure, how about the freedom to marry who you want to? How about the freedom from religious restrictions you don't believe in? How about economic and social equality for women? How about freedom from (again) the insane prohibitions on drug possession and consensual sex? Liberals would be with you on this, conservatives.

So the GOP would do well to look to their own icons for inspiration if they want to make a comeback. Their problem is they're not Republican enough. Because over the last 30 years, the Party has systematically altered what used to be their true core principles, those polices that were once the signatures of their greatest leaders, before the infatuation with St. Ronnie Reagan. For example:

• Abraham Lincoln: Racial equality. Preservation of a single Union of all Americans, with equal protection under the law. "A new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all Men are created equal." "Government of the People, by the People and for the People."
• Theodore Roosevelt: Conservation and common benefit of natural resources. Support of labor unions. Breaking up of corporate monopolies. "The true friend of property, the true conservative, is he who insists that property shall be the servant and not the master of the commonwealth; who insists that the creature of man's making shall be the servant not the master of the man who made it."
• Dwight Eisenhower: Investment in national infrastructure. Expansion of social security and unemployment insurance. A watchful government eye on corporate power. "In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist."

Heck, it was Richard Nixon that created the EPA.

Now that's what I call Republicanism.

About That Michele Obama Tape

During the last few weeks of the election, Wingnutsylvannia (and the PUMA crazies) were obsessed with the rumor that a recording of Michele Obama existed, chock with profanities and racial epithets that put the fabled "Whitey" video tape to shame. Supposedly our soon-to-be-First Lady gave an interview to an obscure online "news service" in Africa called African News International during the campaign, and ranted about the mistreatment of her husband by Republicans and threatened bodily harm to the sources. She also admitted her husband was born in Kenya. For weeks, the supposed "news service" claimed to have the recording, claimed to have been offered millions for it by Fox News (as well a from the Obama campaign, to keep it hushed up), announced several "release dates" in a row (wihout a release), all the way up to election day. Wingnut bloggers even tried to organize a whip-around to raise money to pay for the tape and release it. Many tales of mysterious fires, secret meetings, and myriad skullduggeries abounded. Money may have even changed hands, but no recording has ever surfaced. And now...

Here's the scoop from Hard News Inc. (also covered on Boing-Boing):

Desperate Obama-Haters Give Money to Nigerian Scam

Nobody directly involved will admit it, but this is looking more and more like one of the more nasty, yet brilliant, scams of the last couple years. It may have been pulled off by the legendary Nigerian internet scammers, but it's beginning to look like it may have been the work of a vast leftwing conspiracy with a twisted sense of humor.

Mmmmmm... that is some DAMN fine schadenfruede pie!

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*snort*!

"So I'm sorry if I spoiled your plans, there, friend. But if it's any consolation to you, you have put a smile on my face." (Top Dollar, from 'The Crow')

The Re-education of Alex P. Keaton

How can the GOP become relevant again? How indeed.

Paid human squawk-box Andrew Breitbart of the Moonie Times thinks he has the answer: bring back the chic of Alex P. Keaton, the yuppie Republican son in the liberal family from the 1970s sitcom Family Ties, played to an unfortunate 'T' by Michael J. Fox (I bet he's sorry now.)

Breitbart is the genius who said last October, "Mr. McCain's greatest gift to America may have been his inadvertent discovery of Sarah Palin, the only person in American politics who can go up against Mr. Obama's star power."

But since Bible Spice didn't quite capture the hearts and minds of America like the GOP thought she would (being functionally illiterate didn't help her image much), Breitbart has another brilliant idea: sell selfishness to the "Me Generation" packaged as "tax cuts and corporate greed are more fun!"

The future of the Grand Old Party needs to be dangerously youthful, devastatingly attractive and outrageously fun.

Throw the liberal baby boomer bums out. And let's elect to higher office some good-looking, freedom-loving Net Generation babes. Face it: Democracy needs a face-lift and a youth movement. (I'm from Los Angeles, what can I tell you?)

With the economy in the pits, the young, the restless and unapologetically handsome should use their looks, vigor and Internet knowledge to wrest away elective office from joyless bureaucrats who gallingly repackaged the soiled utopian promises of their overly replayed Woodstock days as "hope" and "change."

[...]

The suburban Mall Rats will be the first Obamacons to come back to the fold when they realize that trickle-up socialism limits their lifestyle options. So let's stop first at Abercrombie and Fitch. See those shirtless models in the storefront tossing footballs in the air?

There's a better use of their time and efforts. Tanned, coiffed and seriously cut, these young studs could be tossing free-trade legislation across the halls of the Cannon House Office Building faster than you can Twitter "The Bella Twins."

Just tell these $15-an-hour beefcakes there's a Democrat standing between them and a $169,300 job - one that comes with a free gym membership even.

Now let's head over to Hooters for a basket of buffalo wings and some electoral gender diversity. It's a lot more wholesome than you'd think; it's mostly hosiery, not skin.

Untested bodacious waitresses who can espouse the virtues of limited government, lower taxes and a strong national defense would serve our country with greater distinction than Reps. Loretta and Linda Sanchez, whose spending policies and no longer funny ineptitude will leave Generation Y dazed, confused - and bankrupt.

Imagine overtly attractive candidates marching door-to-door asking for your vote. You'd invite them in to deliver their pitch, right?

The thing Breitbart doesn't realize is that these "tanned young Republicans" have been around for decades - they're the ones reading Ayn Rand and thinking they've found the meaning of life, the universe and everything: BE SELFISH.

They haven't taken over the "youth vote" yet, so what makes him think they're going to do any better now?

The other thing he doesn't understand is that the Christopaths would never stand for it. Breitbart thinks the "Abecrombe & Finch" lifestyle is something the religious Right is going to embrace? Sadly, I don't think the church ladies are going to find Hooters "wholesome". So they're back to the same problem with the GOP - without the Dominionist preachers screaming Republican talking points at their legions of mouth-breathing foot-soldiers, the GOP will never have the votes to get elected to any state office outside the deep South or cowboy West, much less to a national office. And the religious knuckle-draggers are not going to embrace the "young Hispanic, black and gay conservatives and libertarians" that Breitbart wants to conjure into existence.

Well, unless they embrace them in a brothel, or while wearing two wetsuits and a dildo.

Smartocracy

Even the idiots in the Idiocracy realized that they needed the few smart ones to run the place.

Finally, the nation is going to be run by smart people. And it's not even that - smart pragmatic people.

There once was a time that the GOP could have been called the party of smart pragmatists. That would have been the Eisenhower administration.

Even Tricky Dick Nixon open relations with China and established the EPA because it was the pragmatic thing to do.

But the netroots are not happy.

For one thing, they are enraged that Holy Joe Lieberman's head isn't going to be displayed on a spike outside the White House gates:

Tell me again, Senate Democrats, about how denying Joe Lieberman his Senate Homeland Security and Government Oversight gavel was all about retribution? No, it was about incompetence, criminal neglect, poisoning of children, crony contracting, and worthless government services -- all of which were enabled by the independent Senator from Connecticut.

And they're not happy that there aren't more card-carrying liberals announced for Obama's administration.

I know everyone is obsessed with the "team of rivals" idea right now, but I feel incredibly frustrated. Even after two landslide elections in a row, are our only governing options as a nation either all right-wing Republicans, or a centrist mixture of Democrats and Republicans? Isn't there ever a point when we can get an actual Democratic administration? Also, why isn't there a single member of Obama's cabinet who will be advising him from the left? It seems to me as though there is a team of rivals, except for the left, which is left off the team entirely.

(Just curious, how does one get a liberal card to carry? I seem to have misplaced mine somewhere...)

Wow, you'd think we'd have at least a few weeks to revel in the schadenfreude before getting all depressed that we didn't elect Dennis Kucinich as president, and forming up the traditional liberal circular firing squad.

The problem here, as I see it, is that the last two incoming Democratic presidents did exactly what the netroots seem to think Obama should be doing: kicked out all the "old guard" of the DC establishment in favor of his own posse. Carter and Clinton did exactly that. And in two short years, they were struggling to get anything done in Washington, even with their own party in control of Congress, because all those old guard types were still part of the DC establishment and hated their guts.

Obama seems to be ready to do all those things he promised to do in his campaign - affordable health care, ending the war, putting the economy back on track. I don't recall slitting Lieberman's throat or telling Hillary to get stuffed to be included in his campaign promises.

Obama is a center-left pragmatic technocrat, and he's never tried to say otherwise. He's not a Kucinich or even a Russ Feingold. So quit with the pearl-clutching and defenestration, oh my fellow netroots. We all knew what we were getting going in to this election. Truth be told, for me it was a choice between "might work out OK" and "an unmitigated disaster".

The choice was easy. Bring on the smart people.

Equal Justice Under The Law

From the website of the Equal Justice Society, more details on the legal challenge to Proposition 8, which is being brought by groups also including the Asian Pacific American Legal Center, Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, the California NAACP and the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Inc.

Civil rights groups today filed a petition with the California Supreme Court to stop the enactment of Proposition 8 because it would mandate discrimination against a minority group and did not follow the process required for fundamental revisions to the California Constitution.

In the petition, the Asian Pacific American Legal Center, Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Equal Justice Society, California NAACP and the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Inc. argue that in order to protect the fundamental rights of all Californians, a higher standard is required to overturn the right to marry. Minority communities cannot be stripped of their fundamental rights by a simple majority vote.

"We would be making a grave mistake to view Proposition 8 as just affecting the LGBT community," said Eva Paterson, president of the Equal Justice Society. "If the Supreme Court allows Proposition 8 to take effect, it would represent a threat to the rights of people of color and all minorities."

No, it's worse than that. It basically means no one is safe from the tyranny of the 50%-plus-one.

It establishes a horrifying precedent: an abridgment of civil rights, rights already found to exist in the state Constitution by the state Supreme Court, can be enacted by simple majority vote.

Just think where this leads.

Suppose (may the gods preserve us) that a major California city suffers a terrorist attack by Muslim extremists. What's to stop a replay of Executive Order 9022 and the rounding up of all middle eastern immigrants and their families, but this time enacted by the voter initiative of a terrorized populace?

Or just as plausibly, an attack by domestic right-wing extremists could result in rounding up all citizens with any racist affiliations (along with a voter-approved law monitoring all Internet traffic to facilitate locating anyone who ever looked at a Stromfront website.) And while I might find those people and their beliefs reprehensible, I don't want it possible for a simple majority of voters to strip the civil rights away from anyone, not even skinhead assholes. It's too horrible a precedent to set.

[h/t to Pam Spaulding for the link]

Satan in the White House

Yes, Ol' Scratch himself is on his way to the White House. The Tribulation is about to begin. The election of Barack Obama to the Presidency is the surest sign ever that the Kingdom of the Anti-Christ is at hand.

What's amazing to me is that even if Obama makes good on his promise to get the economy back on track, ratchet down the tension in the Middle East and restore the good name of the United States in the world, none of that matters. It wouldn't repudiate in the slightest the Christianist view of Obama's election.

It won't even matter if we see the abortion rates go down (as they did under Clinton - the abortion rate is more connected to the economy than any other factor), a decrease in unwanted and/or teenage pregnancy (which reality-based sex education leads to, as liberal families have far lower teen pregnancy rates than conservative families), or a revival of genuine religious spirit (times of hope are good for religions - hopeful religions anyway. The Quakers and Buddhists should do well.)

That's because intention is everything to the Christian extremist movement. The means is what matters, not the end. Results are a secondary consideration at best. Not matter what the outcome, if it didn't come from their God, their beliefs, their prayers, then it's unacceptable.

We are reminded of the Biblical dictum that if a man even looks at a woman other than is wife with lust, he has committed adultery "in his heart." The act of committing a sin is irrelevant. Sin itself is a thoughtcrime.

Christian extremism is utterly anti-pragmatic. Success or failure doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts.

The Mormons, Evangelicals and Catholics spent enormous amounts of money to defeat Proposition 8. Over 20 million dollars, I believe. (I've wondered if they ever considered "what would Jesus do" if handed 20 million bucks. That would feed and clothe a whole lot of poor people, and since Jesus spoke of the poor 190 times in the Gospels and spoke of homosexuality zero times, I think we can can tell what the Gospel writers' priorities were.)

Many of them (notably the officers of the LDS church) also went to great pains to say that they (mostly) don't oppose gay civil unions that offer equal legal rights to those of marriage. Once again, it isn't the reality, it's the thought that counts. Gay and lesbian couples can have all the civil rights they want, as long as they can't think they are married.

Hopefully we've turned the tide with this election, and we are finally moving away from a Handmaid's Tale-like dystopian future. And if that's true, than marriage equality will someday come to pass. When I consider my daughter and how she feels about it, it's inevitable.

We shall overcome.

Veteran's Day

Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Colin Powell, United States Army:

"And it is permitted to be said such things as, 'Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.' Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president?

I feel strongly about this particular point because of a picture I saw in a magazine. It was a photo essay about troops who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And one picture at the tail end of this photo essay was of a mother in Arlington Cemetery, and she had her head on the headstone of her son's grave. And as the picture focused in, you could see the writing on the headstone. And it gave his awards--Purple Heart, Bronze Star--showed that he died in Iraq, gave his date of birth, date of death. He was 20 years old. And then, at the very top of the headstone, it didn't have a Christian cross, it didn't have the Star of David, it had crescent and a star of the Islamic faith. And his name was Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, and he was an American. He was born in New Jersey. He was 14 years old at the time of 9/11, and he waited until he can go serve his country, and he gave his life."

Thank you, Cpl. Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, and all others who have served in the armed forces (including my co-blogger Snowwy), on this day of commemoration. Let us resolve as a people we will never again so lightly ask our soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Let us remember the words of General Sun-Tzu:

"Supreme excellence in warfare is the ability to subdue the enemy without engaging in battle."

Napoleon's Dictum As Applied To Politics

The great French General Napoleon Bonaparte had a saying- one of my favorite in the whole world:
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

I come to tell you a tale of victory from defeat. Because Napoleon was right. Attend.

So, in the middle of all the hooplah from the election we find that there is still entirely too much bigotry in our populace. In California, trendsetter state of the Union, forefront of the sexual liberation movement, the odious Proposition 8 passed. Of course, that might have something to do with the state’s horrible case of disassociative identity disorder, but that’s another topic for another day.

I’m liking what I see in terms of the fight against the Amendment. The City of San Francisco jumped in with a lawsuit with both feet immediately, and others look to be joining in. But there is a nuclear option which I think the people behind Prop 8 don’t see or believe in, and it seems to me likely that the California Supreme Court is prepared to exercise it. I’ve been saying this for months, but a friend (hi Molly!) asked me nicely the other day to actually write it down. And I like her, so what she wants, she gets.

In their May decision legalizing gay marriage, the CA Supremes clearly and completely laid out their rationale. They referred to the State Constitution which it is their duty to interpret. The pointed out that the first freedom in that constitution is the guarantee of equal treatment of all the state’s citizens before the law. They noted that the ban on gay marriage voted into law in 2005 would violate that guarantee, and that some legally justifiable reasoning would be required before such a law could be considered constitutional.

And after hearing out the case, they found no such compelling legal justification for stripping a class of citizens of their rights.

The passage of Proposition 8, which amends the State Constitution, would seem to get around that hurdle, since it writes such a removal of rights directly into the controlling authority for the laws of the State.

But it doesn’t surmount that problem at all.

You see, after all is said and done, the CA Supreme Court still has to interpret the law. And should Prop 8 survive all the intermediary challenges winding their way through the court system right now, there’s still the precedent of that earlier decision.

• Equal protection is paramount.
• There must be a compelling justification for a differentiation of the rights of one group of citizens over another.
• There IS no such justification for banning gay marriage.
  

Ergo, the idea must be that Prop 8’s proponents can only have meant to ban marriage entirely in the state of California. Civil unions for everyone, the state is getting out of the marriage business altogether. If you won't share, no one can have any. That is exactly where the Court will take it if forced.

So I understand the consternation of my homosexual brothers and sisters out there in the world, but I tell you- take heart. The Religious Right has won this round, but this was the last good opportunity in a generation (and possibly ever) for them to have this fight.

And in the process, they painted themselves into a corner. And when they have won, and destroyed state-sanctioned marriage entirely in this state, they will look over the ruined plain of victory and cry “But that’s not what we meant!”

No, kids, but that’s what you did.

The Men In Black

The land of Wingnutsylvania is awash in fear and loathing, as the dreaded regime of That One completes its bloodless coup of all that is good and true in Real America.

The jackbooted thugs of the ATF will soon begin kicking down doors, confiscating guns and rounding up the usual suspects. The expanded surveillance powers so foolishly (in retrospect) given to the Executive Branch to spy on evil brown people will be focused instead on white, god-fearing Real Americans.

Black helicopters will darken the skies.

Yes, Wingnutsylvania, fear us... the black man Man in Black is coming for you all. After carrying you away to our Gay Hip-Hop Liberal re-education camps in the Hollywood hills, we will use the flashy-thingy to erase Chuck Norris, Sean Hannity and Jesus from your memories, and then implant the Muslim brain-blobs into the backs of your necks, rendering you into docile slaves to toil in our underground falafel and tie-dyed t-shirt factories.

Please believe wholeheartedly all the most psychotic ravings you all can find on the Intertubes. Echo them through your blogs loudly in ALL CAPS. Double down on the crazy. Leave no doubt in the minds of anyone else who can rub two brain cells together that you are all unequivocally, certifiably out of your fucking minds.

Do it for baby Jesus.

And Now, The Schadenfreude...

Some random samplings from Free Republic, Michele Malkin and Gates of Vienna:

"So, is this the Fall of the Eastern Empire we’re witnessing - the last light of civilization (or in our case, freedom) diminishing and leading to the Dark Ages?"

"I wonder if this is how the Romans felt when they saw the barbarians coming down on them..:-("

"The hatred comes from Satan himself, from the pit of hell. He has been in severe spiritual warfare ever since he announced his candidacy. Satan couldn’t fulfill what he wanted to in our nation because of Mr. Bush’s faith in God. Now he has free will. Hope all you bashers are proud of yourselves. (I don’t mean you.)"

"Who would like to see some Republicans come out and say I'm pissed off we lost? I'm mad as hell, and would like to break something. I'm already mad and seeing Republican after republican come out and talk about the "historic" context of this election, ticks me off even more!!"

"The flag is currently hanging upside-down in our window. Not that it matters; we are in CA. I always felt the GOP would have to crash and burn before they got their act together again; even when they mimic socialists, they can’t get elected."

"A true patriot will tell the government to go to hell when they are about to ruin your country. That's what I'm saying here- Hussein can go to hell. I wouldn't cross the street to piss on Hussein if his hair was on fire."

"This country has elected a corrupt neophyte, which I guess makes us just like Europe now. You may be right about them loving it, but they’ll be singing a different tune when Iran is shoving nukes up their butts and we’re wallowing in economic depression with hardly any military to speak of. Oh well… welcome to the People’s Republik of Amerika."

"A dark hour for the U.S. and the world. The fulfillment of scripture cannot be far behind. Come Lord Jesus!"

"Our long national nightmare is just beginning. I’m gonna miss Sarah Palin. F U B O. And all your idiotic supporters too."

Last night, at the Official Chaotic Good Election Party, we toasted the networks calling the election with a fine Macallum single-malt, and dined on sweet schadenfreude pie as McCain made his concession speech.

There will be much work to do in the months and years to come, to make sure that we never get another village idiot as president. But today, let's enjoy the sweet smell of success... we earned it.

UPDATE: Pammycakes presents the best collection of wingnut doom-and-gloom as can be found in a single link. Pass the pie.

The Nightmare is Over, The Dream Begins

The last battle of America's one hundred forty-seven year long Civil War has ended. After four years of a hot war and more than a century of cold war, the last great barrier has been breached. There will be skirmishes yet to fight, mopping up actions, half a million stories yet to be told.

But today...today I can reclaim my nationality. Today I am once again proud to be called an American.

And today, I can believe that skin color is no barrier to success. Oh sure, there are bigots out there. There always will be. But they don't own the game any more.

It's not equality yet. It's just a damn sight closer to it than I ever dreamed of seeing.

UPDATE: (damn it all, why do people have to disappoint me?)
Digby says it for me:

It's terrific that we are seeing a decline in racism to the extent that we are able to elect a black president. We've come a long way and there's no taking anything away from those who waged the struggle over all these centuries. But our society is not truly changed if it's still writing discrimination into law.

AMERICA - FUCK YEAH!!!

Congratulations, President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama.

Obama's Grandmother Passes

From Associated Press:

HONOLULU – Barack Obama's grandmother, whose personality and bearing shaped much of the life of the Democratic presidential contender, has died, Obama announced Monday, one day before the election. Madelyn Payne Dunham was 86.

Many condolences to the Obama family. The sorrow must be especially poignant, today of all days.

"Term of all that liveth, whose name is Death and inscrutable, be favorable unto us in thine hour. And unto them from whose eyes the veil of life hath fallen, may there be granted the accomplishment of their true will; whether they will absorption in the Infinite, or to be united with their chosen and preferred, or to be in contemplation, or to be at peace, or to achieve the labour and heroism of incarnation on this planet, or another, or in any Star, or aught else, unto them may there be granted the accomplishment of their true will; yea, the accomplishment of their true will. Amen." - Liber X.V.

Let's win this one BIG for Madelyn, people.

Vote, dammit.

One Day More

Vote, dammit!

Republican Jesus Steals Your Lunch Money

Having bilked all the available widows out of their Social Security checks, the Christopath movement declares, "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too."

Pagans and atheists don't deserve to keep their money, don'tcha know.

To this end, C. Peter Wagner, the leader of the fundamentalist theocrats called the New Apostolic Reformation, has proclaimed that all your monies are belong to us:

I declare this to the principalities and powers who have been agents of Satan to obstruct this transfer of wealth: Your time is up! Your evil powers are broken! By the blood of Jesus Christ, I declare that your wicked powers are demolished!... God has declared through His prophets that the wealth of the wicked will be released to the Kingdom of God... I declare that this wealth will be distributed for the extension of the Kingdom of God by the apostles that God has set in the church, I decree that vast amounts of wealth will be released supernaturally, even from godless and pagan sources... The enemy's camp will be plundered... Resistance will be impossible. Jesus will put all things under His feet.

GOP VP candidate and Real American Sarah Palin has many ties to the New Apostolic Reformation movement. Imagine my surprise. Her witch hunting spiritual advisor, Bishop Thomas Muthee is a major figure in the movement.

Strangely, many other Fundamentalists don't like them either. The Assemblies of God kicked them out and declared them heretics in 1949.

This is the same wingnut "end times" cult of Christian warriors that was featured in the film Jesus Camp.



Yeah, those guys.

Personally, my money's on the Peruvian Pagans.

[h/t to Lisa Derrick at Campaign Silo]

GOOD Witches!

Peruvian shamans send blessings to Obama and curses to McCain.

Christopath meltdown in 3... 2... 1...

More Witches!

Seems like Witchfinder General Palin isn't just operating in Africa, but around the world as well.


From Talk2Action:

One of Palin's two witch hunters has publicly stated, in a July 13, 2008 recorded address [see video, below], that Sarah Palin is in the Alaska "spiritual warfare" prayer network and thus Palin appears to be tied into to a U.S. and international "spiritual warfare" network, The Global Apostolic Prayer Network, which claims that a planetary-level demon spirit blocks prayers of Catholics from reaching Heaven and whose top members boast of possibly having helped kill Mother Theresa through prayer-warfare.

Take the time to read the whole article. Scary shit, Maynard.

The Manly McCain Voter

Seems over at Hot Air (one of the Right blogs that Andrew Sullivan calls "non-partisan") the following comments were posted, featuring a jolly fellow calling himself "Manly Rash":

lobosan5 on November 1, 2008 at 5:26 PM

my dear Malny Rash, my best friend just totally humiliated me & THEN WALKED OUT of the dive where we were eating because i attempted to discuss politics the death of America if bambi is elected w/ her.

She was not your best friend - unless you were trying to get laid, in which case discussing politics was a HUGE mistake. The rule is clear: if she is really hot looking, tell her anything if it means unrestricted access. That aside, if you guys were nothing more than friends then you never were friends if something like this sundered you.

I was feeling rather shtty until i saw yer post….onnaconna that is what i was tryin’to do.so much is being decided by this election…*sigh*

Even Babe Ruth struck out from time to time. Perhaps she will come to her senses and apologize. If so, use her guilt as a weapon. Tell her you were really hurt and truly heartbroken by the way she treated you. Explain that you love your country and want it safe and secure so she can be safe and secure. If she doesn’t come to her senses, egg her house.

” be swift to save us , dear God,before the darkness falls.”

Let your heart not be troubled. After McCain wins, you can call her up on the phone and gloat.

Please tell me this guy never gets laid.