(with hat tips to Steerpike, D.N. Nation, Woodrowfan and the commenters at Sadly, No!)Barack Obama swatted a fly.
George W. would have run from the room or hidden under his desk while Cheney agitated for a Global War On Files.
Clinton would have dazzled the fly with a big, folksy grin, convincing it to establish a Housefly PAC to lobby for federal funds.
Bush Sr. would have ordered the fly to be assassinated, and make it look like an accident.
Reagan would have kept talking, oblivious to the fly’s presence, even when it landed on his unblinking, glassy eyes and started laying eggs.
Carter would have mediated a housefly summit, with a breakthrough agreement for a homeland, and protected international status for all displaced insect refugees.
Ford would have tried to swat the fly, but miss, giving himself a black eye, and, somehow, a broken leg.
Nixon would have disintegrated it in mid-flight with laser-beams emitted from his eyes.
LBJ would have offered it a massive public works project if it’d go away.
JFK would have had Bobby kill it. Slowly. Just to watch it die.
Ike would have had Dulles and the CIA off it.
Truman would have nailed it with a bottle.
FDR would have started a public works project to eliminate flies prompting the republicans to start campaigning on a “pro-fly” platform.
Hoover would have tried to swat it, and missed.
Coolidge would have gone to take a nap while Mellon gave another tax cut to himself.
Harding would have made it a member of his cabinet and invited it to his poker game.
Wilson would have had one of the “colored” servants deal with it or would simply had glared it to death.
Taft would wonder how Roosevelt would handle it, then pass it off to the Senate to deal with.
Teddy Roosevelt would have gleefully shot it through the heart and mounted its head on the wall.
McKinley would have swatted it, and then covered its body with a white handkerchief.
Cleveland would have declared that swatting flies was none of the government’s business and vetoed a bill.
Harrison: who cares?
Arthur: Would have swatted it, much to the surprise of the fly who expected to get a kickback.
Garfield: would have dithered what to do until Blaine came in to kill the fly for him.
Hayes: would have let his wife gently removed the fly from the room.
Grant: would have killed it with cigar smoke.
Johnson: would have let the fly run for Congress from one of the former confederate states.
Lincoln: would have tried one fly swatter after another until he found one that works damnit!
Buchanan: would have run shrieking from the room like a little girl.
Pierce: would have had another drink.
Fillmore: would have killed it while the fly wondered who the hell “Fillmore” was.
Taylor: would have told the North he was pro fly swatting while telling the South he was against it. In the meantime Henry Clay would kill the fly.
Polk: Would have invaded Mexico to kill flies there!
Tyler: whatever he did, both the Whigs and Democrats would hate him for it.
Harrison: would have tried to kill the fly but would drop dead trying.
Van Buren: Would form a coalition of northern and southern fly swatters.
Jackson: Would kill the fly AND a few Indians just for the hell of it.
J.Q. Adams: would have killed the fly but while speaking French (Adams, not the fly.)
Monroe: Would have had JQ Adams kill the fly for him.
Madison: Would have tried to get the British and French to compete to kill the fly.
Jefferson: would have killed the fly, and then studied it under a microscope.
Adams: would have blamed Jefferson for the fly then slapped the fly in jail for insulting the President.
Washington: would have killed the fly in a gentlemanly manner thus setting the model for future Presidents’ fly-killing.
