Palin's 1st Amendment RIghts In Danger?

Somebody get this woman a copy of the US Constitution, stat!

First, let's quote the relevant passage:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Now, let's examine what Governor Mooselini said on wingnut radio today:

ABC News' Steven Portnoy reports: In a conservative radio interview that aired in Washington, D.C. Friday morning, Republican vice presidential nominee Gov. Sarah Palin said she fears her First Amendment rights may be threatened by "attacks" from reporters who suggest she is engaging in a negative campaign against Barack Obama.

Palin told WMAL-AM that her criticism of Obama's associations, like those with 1960s radical Bill Ayers and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, should not be considered negative attacks. Rather, for reporters or columnists to suggest that it is going negative may constitute an attack that threatens a candidate's free speech rights under the Constitution, Palin said.

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations," Palin told host Chris Plante, "then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

In the first place, the very idea that "paling around with terrorists" does not constitute negative political campaigning is like proclaming the sky isn't blue, it's green. In the second place, Mooseburgers obviously knows as much about the First Amendment as she does about Article 1's description of the job of the Vice-President.

For the dense ones out there, here's how it works: the First Amendment guarantees that Congress shall make no law that places restrictions on any citizen's speech. Little Sarah has the same right as you and I: she can write a blog, make statements to reporters, or stand on a street corner talking to strangers about any stupid thing she wants to, or embarrass herself on wingnut radio, and the US government can't stop her. The 14th Amendment extended this restriction to all State and local governments.

But this Constitutional protection does not extend to the mass media and who they choose to give a microphone to. I thought conservatives didn't care for rules like the Fairness Doctrine.

This is something that's become endemic in wingnut culture as they stare into the abyss: the idea that the right of "Free Speech" means the inalienable right to be taken seriously. Every day there's another asinine pronouncement from the right-wing blogesphere ("Obama is Malcom X's Love Child!!!") , and every day people with a brain larger than that of a one-celled animal point at them and laugh. This drives them berserk - "Why oh why won't the media listen to us!!! BLAAARGH!!!"

The truth is, Sarah doesn't have to worry about not being heard. The mainstream media has dutifully, even gleefully, reported every idiotic utterance that's emanated from her moose-eating pie hole. But the Constitution does not protect right wing knuckle-draggers like Palin from being openly ridiculed.

So I'm all for the craziest of the crazy right wingers to be given as big a megaphone as possible. I invite them to take up the loaded weapon of free speech, spin the cylinder, cock the hammer, take careful aim, and blow their own feet off.

What WIll Yahweh Think?

As reported by Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN):

In January of this year, Cindy Jacobs was in a worship service when the Lord spoke to her, “Cindy, the strongman over America doesn’t live in Washington, DC – the strongman lives in New York City! Call My people to pray for the economy.”

This word so shook Cindy; she knew she had to call the people of God to converge on New York City the week of October 29 for an emergency prayer rally to cry out against economic collapse in the midst of shaking.

[...]

“We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the 'Lion’s Market,' or God’s control over the economic systems,” she said. “While we do not have the full revelation of all this will entail, we do know that without intercession, economies will crumble.”

And now, we have the photos of scores of fundamentalist Christians praying to a golden calf.

[*ahem*]

The Book of Exodus 32:1-6:

1 And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him. 2 And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me. 3 And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. 4 And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. 5 And when Aaron saw it, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, To morrow is a feast to the LORD. 6 And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.

And Yahweh didn't take this kind of thing lightly.

Exodus 32:25-29

25 And when Moses saw that the people were naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto their shame among their enemies:) 26 Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the LORD's side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him. 27 And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor. 28 And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men. 29 For Moses had said, Consecrate yourselves today to the LORD, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day.

So, can we expect a contingent from Dobson's Focus on the Family to girt their loins and do some avenging at the CBN headquarters? Will they need to kill 3000 to atone for this blasphemous spectacle, or how do these things work?

(Oh, Yahweh sent a plague too, for good measure.)

Fear and Loathing of the 1960s

"The brutal reality of politics alone would probably be intolerable without drugs." - Hunter S. Thompson

The Wingnut Right is caught in a time warp. It's like they mugged Doctor Who and stole the key to the Tardis, thinking they could go back forty years in time and bring back to the future some good ol' commie-fearing, jesus-wheezing, hippie-bashing, negro-lynching, feminist-mocking, kill-the-queers, America-love-it-or-leave-it fanaticism and win a 21st century election with it.

In essence, the McCain/Palin campaign now consists of playing Merle Haggard's 1969 anthem to the silent redneck majority, "Okie from Muskogee" on endless repeat at ear-bleeding volume from now until election day.

(The irony of Haggard's later descriptions of the lyrics as being a tongue-in-cheek pean to small-town innocence is lost on today's wingnuts. But the times they are a-changing: Haggard's newest song is a sincere tribute to a modern woman in politics, and it's not about Sarah Palin - it's called "Hillary". Yes, that Hillary.)

And this time-twisting campaign strategy, to the great surprise of the wingnuts and no one else, is failing. Epically.

What's amazing is that the Right actually thinks that the politics of the 1960's is a winner for them. As far as I'm concerned, the social-political milieu of "The Sixties" didn't actually end until 1974, with the disgrace and resignation of Nixon. And it began roughly ten years earlier, with the defeat of Goldwater. The political arc of The Sixties was not a happy ending for the Right wing in America.

Even St. Reagan, who the wingers believe succeeded by running against "The Sixties", was far less belligerent than his ideological successors. He simply declared everything evil was called "big government" and needed to say no more. But the current wingnut desperation ("why oh why won't everyone LISTEN TO US! BLAAAARGH!") is what's killing them.

Poorman Institute sums it up:

This is the problem. It’s not just the McCain campaign’s problem - although their inability to pick a narrative and stick to it is a special kind of inexcusable - it’s a problem for the entire wingnut noise machine. Obama is a Marxist Muslim Arab Jesus Black White Terrorist Technocrat Racist Do-Gooder Liberal FDR Stalin Hilter Commie Fascist Gay Womanizing Naive Cynical Insider Noob Boring Radical Unaccomplished Elite Slick Gaffe-Prone Pedophile Pedophile-Seducing Liberation Theology Atheist Etc. & Anti-Etc. with a bunch of scary friends from - wait for it! - the Nineteen Hundred And Sixties. It makes no sense. It’s a jumble sale of fears and scary associations from 50 years of wingnut witch hunts and smear campaigns, a flea market of pre-owned and antique resentments, and if one does detect a semi-consistent 1960’s motif running through it all, that’s because that’s when most of these ideas were coined.

What the wingers are pushing now is a dingo's breakfast of forty year-old tropes. Half the voters in this election weren't even ALIVE in the 1960s. But this old hippie kid hasn't felt this kind of schadenfreude since I watched Nixon resign.

As consolation for all you dispirited wingers out there, here's Merle. (Notice the long-haired hippies in his band, and his tongue firmly in cheek.)

The Obama Republicans

In 1980 we saw the rise of the "Reagan Democrats". They were the phenomenon that flipped presidential elections to Republicans for the next 25 years. The intellectual conservatives (both real and pseudo, neo and paleo) alone couldn't do it. The psycho wing (Christianists, survivalists, racists, sweaty geek-boys and prissy-girls in mom's basements furiously making horse's asses of themselves on-line) alone couldn't do it. Even together they couldn't do it. They needed the bloc of working and professional class voters who would normally be at home in the Democratic party, in fact they had been for decades. They still sent Democrats to Capitol Hill. But the GOP peeled them away for Reagan.

And now, we've begun to see the rise of the Obama Republicans.

For example, the Financial Times just endorsed Obama. This is like Rolling Stone endorsing a Republican candidate. They said:

[A] campaign is a test of leadership. Mr Obama ran his superbly; Mr McCain’s has often looked a shambles. After eight years of George W. Bush, the steady competence of the Obama operation commands respect.

Nor should one disdain Mr Obama’s way with a crowd. Good presidents engage the country’s attention; great ones inspire. Mr McCain, on form, is an adequate speaker but no more. Mr Obama, on form, is as fine a political orator as the country has heard in decades. Put to the right purposes, this is no mere decoration but a priceless asset.

Mr Obama’s purposes do seem mostly right, though in saying this we give him the benefit of the doubt. Above all, he prizes consensus and genuinely seeks to unite the country, something it wants. His call for change struck a mighty chord in a tired and demoralised nation – and who could promise real change more credibly than Mr Obama, a black man, whose very nomination was a historic advance in US politics?

The intellectual conservatives like Colin Powell, Christopher Buckley, David Frum, Peggy Noonan and John Cole, besides being disgusted with the barking mad wingnuts, they seem to be yearning for simple competency - is that so much to ask for? they ask. Please, can we try having someone competent and intelligent as president this time? Top of their class material? Constitutional law professor material? President of the Harvard Law Review material?

Please, we want the smart guy!!!

Andrew Sullivan calls them "Obamacons" -- Obama conservatives. They seem to be coming from the professional and intellectual class so far, though Matt at fivethirtyeight.com has reported more than one incident of pollsters in deep red states being told, "well, I'm votin' for the ni**er." Even though it took a clue-by-four to the side of the head to get their goddamn attention, even some dixiecrats finally figured out that Republicans aren't good for them.

However... I am cautious of these smart conservatives supporting Obama. Their nefarious plan, I think, is using an Obama presidency to undermine the psycho-Republicans and drive them from the party, or at least from the leadership of the party. Which means the intellectuals have to take the psychos out into the wilderness where they can be beaten into submission. And they want progressives to help them do this, and take the blame for it so they don't have to.

At this point, it seems like the wingnuts out in the "real America" are set on elevating Palin as the new de-facto leader of the Party. And if the Obamacons are smart, they'll go ahead and let them try to peddle Palin's damaged goods in a general election in four years.

And when that time comes, I predict the Obamacons will help the Democrats beat down the Christopaths and Dittoheads, destroy the Palin wing of the GOP, and drive the final stake through their rotting hearts. So after that, in 2013, the intellectual conservatives can take back control of the GOP. That's the plan, anyway.

Right, Andrew?

Wassup 2008

This has gone mega-viral on the web, but if you haven't seen it yet...



And for the culturally deprived (like me, because I never saw it), here's the original from the 2001 Super Bowl:

Face the Music

Dear Mr. or Ms. Undecided Voter,

Where have you been? How have you been doing?

Yes, I know those sound like nonsensical questions. I see you at least semi-regularly; once a month, twice a day, whatever. But still I ask; where have you been?

You see, for the past seven-plus years I have lived in a country where the most unprincipled men have had their hands on the levers of power. Those powerful people who might have stopped them were only slightly less immoral, and so could recognize the wrongness – but only as an opportunity for political gain.

From the beginning, we were warned that the Bush Administration’s campaign rhetoric was nothing but a passel of lies. “Compassionate Conservatism” was a front, meant only to provide a sham of moral cover for the howling base of the Republican Party. That base had just spent the last eight years in all-out political warfare against a center-right Democratic President. Bush knew then, and we were told then, that he intended to harness that roaring hate for his own purposes.

And what have eight years brought us?

A national debt twice the combined debts of all past presidents in American history.

Two failed wars, one of which we certainly did not need (or even want) to fight.

The most lawless Presidency ever, freely and openly defying the law, the legislature, and the judiciary.

Wholesale and pervasive spying on all American citizens.

The de facto destruction of the most foundational right in the Constitution: habeas corpus.

The loss of a major American city to raw bureaucratic incompetence.

The worst financial crisis in our lifetimes – with no end in sight.

So, where have you been? Have you noted these things? Did they take place in your country? Was your President half as evil as the one I’ve lived under? I just have to know, because here we are now barely more than a week out from an election that will either continue Bush’s policies or change the course of the nation – and you are still undecided. Independent.

I’d try to convince you, bring you around to my point of view. I’d seriously sit down with you and have a long talk about this. I’d listen seriously to what you had to say. I’d expect the same in return.

But you know, there really isn’t much point to civil discussion about important civic issues if you and I don’t share the same reality.

So, where have you been?

-----
Joe Max adds:

This quote from David Sedaris in this week's New Yorker:

"I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?'

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

Preparing for the Apocalypse

Different right-wing Christian sects have different ways of dealing with a series of insurmountable obstacles on a direct path to imminent disaster.

Some, like the Witchfinder Generals of the previous post, mount their spiritual counterattack, covering their charges with the sacrificial Blood of the Lamb.

Some challenge Yahweh to prove that he's the biggest baddest God of all, lest the heathens will think their God(s) are more God-tastic than the real One.

Some, like the long suffering Catholic blogger The Anchoress, will gather her wimple and her rosary, and repair to her closet for some prayer, some fasting and who knows? perhaps a bit of self-flagellation. She will diligently practice suffering to prepare her for the real suffering to come.

A friend of mine, noting the Buckley endorsement of Obama on the slimmest of notions, said, “there is a strange undertow of events, lately.” Yes. Things are so strange because there is disorientation - and this disorientation is because the supernatural is in play - it’s been in play for a long time, of course, but the painless coup is almost complete and there is almost an anticipatory frenzy on the side of the presumptive victors. Mistakes get made in a frenzy.

The Mad Hatter is fasting and praying for discernment, for the nation, for her own vote. I am doing this also - have been doing it since October 1.

[...]

Right now, Nero is watching Rome burn. Right now, Peter, that city’s first Bishop, is being crucified and turned upside down.

Right now, in prayer and in fasting, one may penetrate the illusions of the world and, touching eternity, impact them.

Obama may win this election. Obama may lose this election. McCain may win this election. McCain may lose this election. No matter what happens, we are entering a new era, and I believe everyone knows it. With the prayer and fasting, I am “in training” making myself ready for whatever comes, because whatever comes is going to be very different; it will jar us from all of our complacencies.

You can say that again, sister...

The Politics of Hope

This is the face of hope.

This is the face of a young African-American girl, who has seen a woman and an African-American battle to a photo finish over the nomination for President by the Democratic Party.

And to be overly fair, who has seen a woman become the Vice-Presidential candidate of the Republican party.

This is a young African-American girl who now knows in her heart, whatever she may hear in her life to discourage her, that with hard work and courage she truly can be anything she wants to be. And this can never be taken away from her.

She will walk taller, hold her head higher, and be more proud of her heritage and her country for the rest of her life.

Electing Barack Obama president: $500 million dollars.

The look on that young girl's face: priceless.

Witches!!!

From deep in the heart of inner wingnuttia, comes this horrifying report of the unholy power of Satan being summoned by Barack Obama's relatives in Kenya.

Dear friends:

THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.

Minutes ago I spoke with friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting in his home to pray against the witchcraft curses attempted by them against John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Dr. Marvin sent me the below e-mail from Flo Ellers. Flo is credentialed with the International Fellowship of Ministries which is based in Washington State. She is also a member of EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper, Arkansas.

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, PLEASE PRAY TODAY AND CONTINUALLY THAT ALL SUCH CURSES BE BROKEN AND SATAN'S PLAN FOR AMERICA BE DEFEATED, IN JESUS' NAME. PRAY AND COVER MCCAIN AND PALIN WITH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, IT IS TIME YOU LEARN!!!

...

She said the witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.

The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him look confused and like an idiot". Bree K. said we need to break these curses off of him that are being sent from Kenya.

If the intent of the spellcasting was to make McCain and Palin look like confused idiots, I'd say that was a successful spell. Go witches!

But hey, don't worry, right-wing brethren and sistren! Remember Sarah Palin's favorite evangelist has got her back!



I wonder if Obama is elected, is there going to be a serious crisis of faith among the God-fearing folk of the "real America"?

Probably not.

Fashion Faux Pas

Captured by Stumper at Newsweek.

I do believe I see the word "vote", surrounded by a seemingly endless line of marching donkeys.

And the donkey is the symbol of which Party?

Ouch. Maybe this is Palin's version of "reaching across the aisle?"

I wonder if she picked that one up at Neiman-Marcus or at Sak's Fifth Avenue?

Ready now? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...[*snort*]

UPDATE: "Obama Resoles His Shoes While Palin Spends $150K"

Looking for a Good Time, Voter?

These

women

are

whores.


I apologize to my feminist friends (and be assured I count myself among you - just ask my wife) for my use of crude, sexist language, but there's nothing else that suffices.

I also apologize to all the female sex workers, who I am insulting by comparison to these Gorgons.

But all these Palin-projected starbursts popping through TV screens making wingnut boys "sit up straighter" and gag on their Cheetos are exposing yet another part of the conservative id being dredged up like rotting carrion out of a swamp.

So let's toss this revolting tidbit into the middle of the room and let the cat smell it.

As the Guardian UK commented on Michelle Bachmann (R-Wingnuttia), the likely reason the high priests of the GOP offered her up to Tweety Matthews as a human sacrifice is because, why?

Before we go any further - who is this Bachmann? She's a first-term backbencher from exurban Minneapolis who says the Lord told her to run for Congress. She declared herself "a fool for Christ" in 2006 when she announced her candidacy. By all accounts she's down with the whole rightwing Christian package: immigrants bring disease and pestilence, homosexuals want to indoctrinate straight children, and so on. Republican leadership undoubtedly pushed her out on to television because she is, as you Brits say, a looker - at least by the standards of Congress.

(Why is it that Brits can cover our elections more insightfully than the US media? Oh, right, US media, never mind... pass the cocktail weenies...)

Sarah Palin has perfected this kind of political "persuasion": a come-on like a Hooter's waitress with a wink that promises the blow job of your life if you just hand over your wallet (and in this case, your vote). It is aimed exclusively at men - in fact, a distinct subset of sexist and sexually repressed men, generally of the conservatard persuasion.

This kind of man wants a "strong" woman (or thinks he does - he wouldn't know what to do with the real thing), so long as she's physically attractive (in that Cosmo-inspired Barbie-doll way), does most of the domestic work, and agrees with him on everything to do with politics, entertainment, religion and gender. He'll barter what small bit of real agency she's allowed to have in exchange for hot, slutty (though missionary and lasting roughly five minutes) sex-on-demand.

From the woman's point of view in this kind of relationship, her mission is to make this guy a patsy, a bumbling TV-sitcom dad to be plied and wheedled into going along with whatever she wants to do with a wink and a flash of cleavage, and make him think it was his idea.

Both the male and female parties in this are behaving like sexist pigs in the real sense of the term. It's one thing for this power dynamic to exist in personal relationships, and my libertarian side says they can live their own lives as they see fit. But when this dynamic is exploited for either monetary or even worse, political gain, then it is whoredom, plain and simple, in the real sense of the term.

The endless GOP political parade of coifed, blushed, bleached, plucked, botoxed uber-bitches (of which Cindypills McCain is the archetype made flesh) seems to roll off the conveyor belt of some massive machine built with the alien technology of Kang and Kodos. It's like they're stuffing Carrie Nation and Phyllis Schafley into a combination rejuvinator/time machine where their molecules are recombined like Brundlefly and squeezed into a Pamela Anderson shaped injection-mold.

Help me.

Seeing these repugnant women vomiting up the latest fact-free GOP talking points makes the urge to get a gun and go all Elvis on the television screen almost overwhelming.

And why are they there? Because they're "lookers". They make the good ol' boy-cons get a woody. A Republican woman who looks like Janet Reno or Madeline Albright is never offered up as a spokesperson. The Republicans have become the Party of the MILF. It's the embroidered velvet glove on the hand of Skeletor.

In Sarah "wink-and-cleavage" Palin they found their apeothesis. She's the fulfillment of the GOP male wet-dream of the flirty Waffle House waitress as leader of the free world.

They weren't hired just to be "lookers." Try "hookers."

An American Muslim Soldier

Colin Powell did a lot more than simply and intelligently explain why he was endorsing Barack Obama on Sunday morning. In his remarks he also exposed just how profoundly un-American the right-wing obsession with the "Obama is a Muslim" smear really is, by invoking the memory of Cpl. Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, Stryker Brigade, 2nd Infantry, United States Army.

"And it is permitted to be said such things as, 'Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.' Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president?

I feel strongly about this particular point because of a picture I saw in a magazine. It was a photo essay about troops who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And one picture at the tail end of this photo essay was of a mother in Arlington Cemetery, and she had her head on the headstone of her son's grave. And as the picture focused in, you could see the writing on the headstone. And it gave his awards--Purple Heart, Bronze Star--showed that he died in Iraq, gave his date of birth, date of death. He was 20 years old. And then, at the very top of the headstone, it didn't have a Christian cross, it didn't have the Star of David, it had crescent and a star of the Islamic faith. And his name was Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, and he was an American. He was born in New Jersey. He was 14 years old at the time of 9/11, and he waited until he can go serve his country, and he gave his life."

And the picture General Powell described? It's from The New Yorker Magazine's pictorial "Service" by Platon:



I don't know about you, but I look at this picture and think... fuck you, you wingnut assholes. Just... fuck you right in the ear.

UPDATE: More on Cpl. Khan. He was an all-American kid who loved video games, Disney World and the Dallas Cowboys. It's a story to break your heart.

The Traitorous General Powell

The wingnut whining, along with the expected character assassination, has commenced on former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Secretary of State in the Bush administration and 4-Star General (and Republican) Colin Powell, over his endorsement of Obama. I guess he's one of those "anti-American" Americans we keep hearing about.

Talking points: He was an "affirmative action hire" by Bush. The Powell Doctrine is just duh-obvious to the military. (So why didn't Bush Jr. follow it? Duh.) Powell was always a liberal RINO anyway. He's only endorsing Obama because they're both Black, so he's a racist too.

Hack mystery writer and quisling Roger L. Smith gives us the whiny ass titty baby side:

But then Powell raised the ante. Citing unnamed Republican party leaders (not McCain), he said these leaders made allegations to him that Obama was a Muslim and therefore a “terrorist”. Really? I would like to hear the names of those “leaders.” Sure, there are plenty of extremists on the Internet and elsewhere bantering around stuff like that (just as there are liberal-left extremists spewing nonsense about McCain), but genuine party leaders? Would Powell please name one? If not, this seems like a political smear. Why would Powell feel he needed to make it?

Three words: Representative Michele Bachmann:




Mr. Simon, you do realize you've just called the only enthusiastic, viable base that still supports McCain/Palin "extremists"? Somehow, I don't think they'd appreciate your description.

And it's not just Internet nutcases, it's the typical parade of seethingly angry supporters lined up for McCain/Palin rallies. There is no similar phenomena at Obama/Biden rallies, no wave after wave of followers spouting "Manchurian candidate" or "Alzheimer's victim" at Obama rallies. (Ridicule of Palin, unfortunately for you guys, simply writes itself.) And there are no Democratic members of Congress calling what now constitutes a majority of the electorate as well as the Legislature "anti-American." Just the one who McCain called one of the wisest men he knows telling it like it really is.

However, both Barry Goldwater and William F. Buckley Jr. would agree with your inadvertent "extremist" assessment of the current GOP base, and in fact, they did. They deplored what the GOP and the Conservative movement was becoming even before they died, and now I guarantee you they're spinning in their graves fast enough to generate electricity.

Face it, Mr. Simon - you've backed the wrong horse, you're grasping at straws, and you can't bring yourself to admit it.

Doubling down on the smear by association isn't going to work. The GOP is dead, and you guys killed it.

"President Barack Obama." Get used to it.

UPDATE: Wahhh-mbulance to the Limbaugh studio, stat!
UPDATE 2: Powell gives Simon those three words.

They're Not Gonna Stop

Bachmann calls for the press to take a good hard look at the Congress, and do an investigation into who's pro- or anti-American. She says she'd welcome such a thing.

No, she wouldn't. Because as this election is about to make pluperfectly clear to anyone with more than a single functioning brain cell, currently Americans despise Republican positions on most issues. Any press investigation that wasn't Fox Noise "Fair and Balanced" would almost have to start by deciding that they had to define "American".

And any such definition would almost have to be composed mostly of the views of the majority on a slate of issues. Following from there to determining which politicos were more in line with the baseline as so defined would be a fairly simple exercise. You wouldn't even necessarily have to talk to them, though fairness does suggest an opportunity for each member of Congress to have a word or two.

This work has already been done. And on issue after issue, the Democrats beat the Republicans.

So, Ms. Bachmann, you really, really don't want that press expose. You'd end up officially branded a traitor, or something like it. And you would not like that.

So really, it's time for the Republicans to STFU about this "anti-American" crap. Questioning your opponent's patriotism worked six years ago. But you rode that horse to death- it's not taking you another step.

Says It All

(phop courtesy of WordWeaverLynn)

McCain has spent the last three months chasing after Obama rhetorically. The more popular the Democrat gets, the harder the Republican tries to steal his opponent's positions, so as to position himself as some sort of sensible moderate that people can trust to do right by the country.

But the nation has seen what modern Republican rule looks like. It looks like the Ownership Society. It looks like being greeted as liberators. It looks like shattered dreams of empire.

And we're not having any more of this bullshit. The work of cleaning up your mess is about to begin Senator McCain. Follow or get out of the way - you're not going to get to lead us.

Nailin' Paylin

Rich Lowry's about to get more starbursts all over his pants.

The New York Daily News reports that Larry Flynt's Hustler Video is fast-tracking production of their next cinematic masterpiece, Nailin' Paylin, [sic] to be released before Election Day.

The film also features a three-way between "Paylin", Condi Rice and Hillary Clinton, who will be played by MILF diva Nina Hartley. (I'll bet "Hillary" gets spanked.)

Hustler released the script to RadarOnline, which includes that following frank discussion of international and domestic politics between Paylin and a hunky tanning bed repairman:

PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.

JOE: I have a big hammer.

PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)

JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.

PALIN: Oooh, okay.

(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.

PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.

(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)

PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!

JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?

PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.

JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?

PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.

(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)

PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!

I'm betting it'll outsell the DVD of An American Carol.

It's Going To Get Ugly

Human squawk boxes Michele Malkin and Glenn Reynolds lead the charge of the WATB keyboard brigade these days, shouting at clouds about how the media is reporting on a few overexcited Joe Six-Packs at rallies shouting "kill him!", but are SO totally ignoring the unhinged moonbats who have been saying mean things about George W. Bush for all these wretched years. (It seems like about 77% of the electorate agree with the moonbats this time around.)

Blue Texan at Instaputz uses the totally unfair debating tactic of asking for facts:

- cite a single Kerry or Obama or Gore campaign rally in which the participants were caught on camera screaming for the assassination of George W. Bush or;
- cite a single instance at a campaign event in which Obama or Kerry had to correct bigoted/ugly questions from supporters or;
- cite a single instance of Biden or Edwards suggesting that George W. Bush "palled around" with racists or extremists
- cite an instance of Kerry or Obama supporters caught on camera outside the event spouting the most ignorant and hateful things imaginable
- cite the dates during Obama or Kerry or Gore in which all of the above happened -- in a single week

It seems the best examples of high profile "lefties spreading hate" are Madonna and Sandra Bernhard. How 80s.

Basically, they want you to believe that in the grand scale of crazy people to be afraid of, this:

Is equal to this:

Which is the whole "liberal fascism" argument in a nutshell, isn't it?

Don't Mess With The Men In Black

I mentioned in a previous post the comments by Seymour Hersh in his recent speech at Berkeley, how he was almost certain that the US Secret Service would not at all be pleased with the bloody red meat of "paling around with terrorists" (notice the use of the plural form) being served up by Sarah Mooselini of late at her Nuremberg-like rallies. And McCain's 100% pure "all attacks all the time" TV ads have undeniably fueled the spittle-flecked rage of the attendees in line for McCain-Palin campaign events being captured on various YouTube videos.

These people are insane. They're being whipped into a frenzy. And they like owning lots of guns.

As one commenter here noted, Hersh is rarely, if ever, wrong about anything having to do with skulduggery and politics. And lo and behold, on Saturday we were treated to the spectacle of McCain having to grab the microphone away from the bag-lady audience member who had simply started to regurgitate the very same talking points that McCain's own handlers had been injecting into the campaign for weeks. And then he had to launch into a passionate defense of his opponent as a "family man" and a "patriot". As the audience booed.

I get the feeling at that moment a lot of hard-faced men and women with sunglasses and earpieces were nodding to each other in grim satisfaction.

Don't mess with the Men in Black.

Take it away, Will...

Blood in the Streets

Remember when the wingnut pundits were spewing out dire warnings of "race riots" if Obama were to lose the primary against Hillary Clinton? And how they reprised the same talking point about Obama losing the general? How they clucked their tongues and wagged their fingers at those savage nigras liberals who wouldn't hesitate to riot in the streets over an Obama loss, and how this was clear proof of the violent immaturity of all the Dirty Fucking Hippies (and "teh Coloreds")?

But as we all know: It's OK if you're a Republican! Even rioting in the streets is a justifiable reaction to losing an election, if it's the Republicans who lose.

Here's the dire warning from right-wing shithead gasbag Dan Riehl:

There may indeed be blood in the streets before the current political and economic issues before the nation are resolved. But it won't have much of anything to do with Race, it'll be about the fundamental principles of this Republic a great many Americans are not prepared to give up without a serious fight.

And the rage won't just last days ... it could be a battle fought for years and not always without its victims. Can you imagine the look on the faces of the Obama-loving Ayres apologists at the New York Times when the bombs start exploding in their lobby, instead of the Pentagon?

I'm not advocating it, but I do fear some Americans probably can imagine it at this point. In fact, I have little doubt of it. And I can understand that rage, even if I wouldn't support such an action.

Shorter version:

"I certainly won't be out there lynching the niggers myself, I just tell other people to do it, but it's a perfectly understandable and unavoidable reaction if terrorist lover and traitor Obama Hussein wins the election."

UPDATE: The article linked above contains the following paragraph:

OK, just for the sake of argument let’s look at it this way, suppose Obama cleans McCain’s clock and wins in a landslide? And took the Electoral College by storm, just suppose.

Have you heard ANY rumors of race riots in case that scenario were to come to pass?

I know I haven’t, but then again, I am not a person that lives a mindset that dictates that because someone like Rodney King decided to ignore police orders, and got his ass beat all to hell and back in the process, well, I need to go burn down MY neighborhood, and the businesses that cater to ME and MY people, that just isn’t a thought process that I have ever adhered to or heard mentioned in my 55 years on this earth, and I have been around some serious racists, I have heard the mantra, from WHITE and BLACK racists.

That was written two weeks ago. My, how things have changed...

Obama Campaign Adopts the Joe Max Election Eve Strategy

I do believe you heard it here first. At least, I couldn't find anyone else talking about this idea at the time. Both Nixon and Humphrey did it in 1968, and I had to go to Google Books to find a reference to it in an obscure 20 year-old book on presidential politics and the media: the election eve telethon.

The New York In-The-Tank-For-Obama Times reports:

Obama, Purse Swelling, Plans Half-Hour TV Ad

Senator Barack Obama has become the first presidential candidate in 16 years to buy a half-hour of prime time network television for a campaign infomercial.

Officials at the Obama campaign and at several television networks said Thursday that Mr. Obama had completed deals to show a half-hour program about his candidacy on CBS and NBC on Wednesday, Oct. 29, less than a week before Election Day. The campaign is also talking to ABC and Fox about similar deals, though the potential of a World Series Game 6 may make that impossible on Fox.

And last month I wrote:

In the last days of the 1968 Presidentiual Election, both candidates - Richard Nixon and Hubert Humphrey - ran two-hour "paid programming" telethons, broadcast on major networks (which, in the days before Cable news channels, were the only games in town.) These are described in the book White House to Your House by Edwin Diamond and Robert A. Silverman.

So how about a blast from the past - an Obama Election Eve Telethon?

[...]

I think this might be a good idea to dust off for November. How about it, Obama campaign? I know you can afford it.

I'm glad that the Obama campaign is finally following my advice!

Admittedly, we're talking about an Obama infomercial, not a "telethon" per se, but these are different times. There won't be a bank of phones ringing, but you can be sure there will be website links and text message numbers being displayed. Though I still think the telethon format would be a great PR move.

Extra credit: Who was the last presidential candidate to use the "infomercial"?

The Cowardly McCain

"Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk, in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got???"

"Courage!"

"You can say that again!"

Nasty, Brutish, and Short

...and people want him to be president.

I sometimes wonder if I see a completely different angle on the world than just about anyone else. In the two days since the second presidential debate I have seen not one blog post on this subject. So since someone's gotta do it.

BROKAW: The three -- health care, energy, and entitlement reform: Social Security and Medicare. In what order would you put them in terms of priorities?

MCCAIN: I think you can work on all three at once, Tom. I think it's very important that reform our entitlement programs.

My friends, we are not going to be able to provide the same benefit for present-day workers that we are going -- that present-day retirees have today.

Allow me to express myself for all those people out there who haven't yet.

*ahem*
WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU WITHERED OLD BEEN-ON-GOVERNMENT-BENEFITS-YOUR-WHOLE-LIFE HUNK OF SHIT?!!

I mean really, What. The. Fuck? If I were an ageist dickhead, I might call this typical Baby Boomer bullshit. But McCain's not a Boomer, and this has the distinct stink of Republicanism and Libertarianism about it. McCain and his cronies have got theirs. He's so sorry, Mister or Madam Generation X, about the promise that has kept you working and paying into the system your whole life even while things like job security and pensions and respect evaporated, each looted in their turn in the name of almighty profit, but we just can't afford to keep it.

And now that we are approaching 40, what do we have to look forward to? Skyrocketing inflation, chronic underemployment, devastated cities and oh by the way the struggle for survival will now go on until the day you don't.

When the financial markets started to meltdown one of the common refrains was "Aren't you glad Nancy Pelosi stopped George Bush from putting our Social Security into Wall Street hands?" Damn right I was. Weren't you?

The Kristallnacht Kampaign

I heard Seymour Hersh speak at Berkeley last night, and the subject of Sarah Palin was brought up in the Q & A. Hersh said he had no direct knowledge of Palin, has never met her (he was always careful to say when he was offering opinion or relating facts) so he doesn't have any more personal insight on her character than anyone else. But he was amazed, he said, by what he'd read about the audience behavior at Palin's rallies in recent days, and her followers' reactions to the wingnut read-meat she's been slinging. With her crowds (and McCain's) shouting out things like "terrorist!" and "traitor!" and "kill him!" in response to their attacks on Obama, as well as the verbal and physical threatening of reporters by her audience members, her events are more like war rallies than political speeches.

Culture war indeed.

But what Hersh could almost be certain of - again saying he has no special knowledge (always the factual reporter) but can speak from experience with the high end of national political campaigns - is that the Secret Service cannot be taking this kind of thing lightly. He would be very surprised if the director of the Secret Service hadn't already had discussions with the McCain campaign. Apparently the S.S. is already trying to track down some of the more *ahem* enthusiastic members of her audience.

Palin is deliberately pouring gasoline on crowds of already flaming asshole wingnuts. That is, of course, what they hired her for. And these reich-tards are getting scared, as the possibility of not only an Obama win but an Obama landslide looms, their worst nightmare come true.

A sacred wingnut is a dangerous wingnut.

Grandpa and the Church Lady are creating the worst kind of monster: a mob, the monster with a thousand heads and no brain. And what was the winger's biggest complaint about McCain's debate performance? He didn't shovel up the same kind of "fightin' words" as Sarah Mooselini's been spewing for days and throw them in Obama's face.

Here's the thing: two meth-head rednecks with guns and a stupid plan to assassinate Obama in Denver have already been arrested. There's a lot more where they came from, and many of them are likely smarter than those two shitheads, but equally deranged.

If Hersh is right, we may see Mooseburgers lightening up in coming days. Because there's nothing the Secret Service hates more than someone deliberately making their job harder. To an S.S. agent, "harder" means having to take a bullet. That's enough to ruin anybody's day.

For more insight on what happens when wingnuts get scared, there's this from the eeeevil 1960s:

Dead Stock Market Sketch

Mr. Obama: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

Mr. Paulson: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Obama: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this stock market what I purchased not half a year ago from this very economy.

Mr. Paulson: Oh yes, the, uh, the Unfettered Free Stock Market... What's, uh... What's wrong with it?

Mr. Obama: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Mr. Paulson: No, no, 'e's uh,... it's... adjustin'.

Mr. Obama: Look, matey, I know a dead stock market when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Mr. Paulson: No no it's not dead, it's, it's adjustin'! Remarkable stock market, the Unfettered Free, idn'it, ay? Beautiful portfolio!

Mr. Obama: The portfolio don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Mr. Paulson: Nononono, no, no! it's adjustin'!

Mr. Obama: All right then, if it's adjustin', I'll wake it up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister stock market! I've got a lovely fresh government bailout for you if you...

(Mr. Paulson hits the treasury)

Mr. Paulson: There, it moved!

Mr. Obama: No, it didn't, that was you inflating the money supply!

Mr. Paulson: I never!!

Mr. Obama: Yes, you did!

Mr. Paulson: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Obama: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO STOCK MARKET!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your election year alarm call!

(Takes stock market out of the cage and thumps its head on the CNBC anchor desk. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet 1000 points.)

Mr. Obama: Now that's what I call a dead stock market.

Mr. Paulson: No, no... No, it's discouraged!

Mr. Obama: DISCOURAGED?!?

Mr. Paulson: Yeah! You discouraged it, just as it was wakin' up! Unfettered Free stock markets discourage easily, major.

Mr. Obama: Um... now look... now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That stock market is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf a year ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged irrational exuberance.

Mr. Paulson: Well, it's... it's, ah... probably pining for the Reagan.

Mr. Obama: PININ' for the REAGAN?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Mr. Paulson: The Unfettered Free stock market prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable market, id'nit, squire? Lovely portfolio!

Mr. Obama: Look, I took the liberty of examining that stock market when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on a 13,000+ point index in the first place was that it had been NAILED there with over-leveraged real estate.

Mr. Paulson: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If we hadn't nailed that market down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its golden parachutes, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Obama: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this market wouldn't "voom" if you put 700 billion dollars through it! It's bleedin' demised!

Mr. Paulson: No no! It's pining!

Mr. Obama: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This stock market is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet it's maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the over-inflated mortgage investments, it'd been pushing up the daisies! It's economic processes are now 'istory! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off it's mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS... is an EX-stock market!!!

Bring It On

Sarah Mooseburgers sez:

"Our opponent is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to pal around with terrorists who targeted their own country,". She went on to say "Our opponent ... is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he's palling around with terrorists who would target their own country."

Palin also wants to bring Reverend Wright back for an encore too, seeming to forget her own extensive "preacher problems". In Omaha, she said: "To tell the truth, Bill, I don't know why that association isn't discussed more."

I'll see you one Black Liberation minister and raise you one witch hunter, one "end of days" preacher and one "pray away the gay" sermon, Sarah.

But "palling around" with unsavory political crazies from the 1960s? Well, we already know that the Obama campaign has unleashed the Keating 5 bomb in response. (Hint to McCain: this is not the Kerry campaign.) And little Sarah Winky ought to be a bit more careful, lest her and her husband's connections to the secessionist Alaska Independent Party make the news cycles again.

But if McCain wants to keep playing the slime game, there's always this from the Chicago Tribune:

McCain minced no words: "I think not only a repudiation but an apology for ever having anything to do with an unrepentant terrorist is due the American people. "What McCain didn't mention is that he has his own Bill Ayers -- in the form of G. Gordon Liddy. Now a conservative radio talk-show host, Liddy spent more than 4 years in prison for his role in the 1972 Watergate burglary. That was just one element of what Liddy did, and proposed to do, in a secret White House effort to subvert the Constitution. Far from repudiating him, McCain has embraced him.

How close are McCain and Liddy? At least as close as Obama and Ayers appear to be. In 1998, Liddy's home was the site of a McCain fundraiser. Over the years, he has made at least four contributions totaling $5,000 to the senator's campaigns -- including $1,000 this year.

Last November, McCain went on his radio show. Liddy greeted him as "an old friend," and McCain sounded like one. "I'm proud of you, I'm proud of your family," he gushed. "It's always a pleasure for me to come on your program, Gordon, and congratulations on your continued success and adherence to the principles and philosophies that keep our nation great."

G. Gordon Liddy... wow, that takes me back. He's the one who called himself a "political prisoner" when he was sent up for the Watergate burglary. He's the one who advised, on his radio show during the Waco standoff, that when the federal cops come for you to aim for their heads, "because they'll be wearing bullet proof vests." Asked later if he wanted to amend his comment, he did: "Actually, you should aim for their groins."

Nice "pal" you got there, Johnny Maverick.

Obama's campaign has ammunition they haven't even loaded yet. So you want to go sleazy? Obama says: bring it on.

Something Dumber This Way Comes

(Maybe not as great as the first two, but still damn funny.)

UPDATE: Sullivan prints a reader's observation:

I just want to ask: can anyone, anyone, imagine Condoleeza Rice or Margaret Thatcher or even Hillary Clinton for God's sake, winking at the nation and/or being coquettish in any national format?

Yeah. Just checking.

Or Christine Todd Whitman, or Katherine Sebelius, or Kay Bailey Hutchinson, or Nancy Pelosi, or Olympia Snowe, or Jennifer Granholm, or Angela Merkel, or Segolene Royal, or Doi Takako...

Palin has single-handedly set back women in politics by at least a decade. Dontcha know.

The Real Face of Sarah Palin

Oh gods of all politics, I beseech thee: listen to the right wingnuts when they say, "Let Sarah be Sarah!" Palin said on Faux News that she wants to "talk" to The People, without the "filter" of the media.

Oh please please please pleeeeeeese! Let it be so!

We can look forward to more gems like these:

"I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.'" -- as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor's office without approval of the city council

"Perhaps so." -- when asked if we may need to go to war with Russia because of the Georgia crisis, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008

"In what respect, Charlie?" -- asked if she agreed with the Bush Doctrine, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008

"Absolutely. Yup, yup." -- asked by People magazine if she was ready to be a heartbeat away from the presidency

"It's great to see another part of the country." -- campaigning in Pennsylvania, Aug. 2008

"A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made." -- dismissing global warming as influenced by human activity, Newsmax interview, Aug. 2008

"Our national leaders are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan." -- on the Iraq war, speaking to students at the Wasilla Assembly of God, June 2008

"We need to come to the defense of Southeast Alaska when proposals are on the table like the bridge and not allow the spinmeisters to turn this project or any other into something that's so negative." -- on the Bridge to Nowhere, interview with the Ketchikan Daily News, Oct. 2006

"When I hear a statement like that coming from a woman candidate with any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism, or maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think, 'Man, that doesn't do us any good, women in politics, or women in general, trying to progress this country." -- on complaints from Hillary Clinton's campaign about sexist coverage, Spring 2008

"What would your response be if I asked you to remove some books from the collection?" -- inquiring with Wasilla librarian Mary Ellen Emmons about banning books right after taking office in 1996

"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" -- interview with CNBC's "Kudlow & Co", July 2008

"That's exactly what we're going to do in a Palin and McCain administration." -- elevating herself to the top of the ticket, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Sept. 18, 2008

h/t to Daniel Kurtzman at About.com for the compliation. Click here for more Sarah fun!

Devil Girl From Alaska

Palin proclaims a New Vice Presidential Order:

No, no. Of course, we know what a vice president does. And that's not only to preside over the Senate and will take that position very seriously also. I'm thankful the Constitution would allow a bit more authority given to the vice president if that vice president so chose to exert it in working with the Senate and making sure that we are supportive of the president's policies and making sure too that our president understands what our strengths are. [...] Well, our founding fathers were very wise there in allowing through the Constitution much flexibility there in the office of the vice president. And we will do what is best for the American people in tapping into that position and ushering in an agenda that is supportive and cooperative with the president's agenda in that position. Yeah, so I do agree with him that we have a lot of flexibility in there, and we'll do what we have to do to administer very appropriately the plans that are needed for this nation.

Ninety-plus U.S. Senators simultaneously gagged on their own bile as those words came sputtering out of the Palin-o-tron's exhaust pipe. In a way, I'd almost like to say, "Ha! I'd like to see her try to face down Harry Reid!" Reid has spit in the faces of the Vegas mafia, so I don't think Caribou Barbie is going to intimidate him in the slightest.

But as amusing as that scenario might be, this "fourth branch" Cheney bullshit has to be strangled, buried, quicklimed and its grave sown with salt. I sat there thinking, "Joe, don't let her get away with this!' And to Joe's eternal credit, he didn't:

Vice President Cheney has been the most dangerous vice president we've had probably in American history. The idea he doesn't realize that Article I of the Constitution defines the role of the vice president of the United States, that's the Executive Branch. He works in the Executive Branch. He should understand that. Everyone should understand that.

And the primary role of the vice president of the United States of America is to support the president of the United States of America, give that president his or her best judgment when sought, and as vice president, to preside over the Senate, only in a time when in fact there's a tie vote. The Constitution is explicit.

The only authority the vice president has from the legislative standpoint is the vote, only when there is a tie vote. He has no authority relative to the Congress. The idea he's part of the Legislative Branch is a bizarre notion invented by Cheney to aggrandize the power of a unitary executive and look where it has gotten us. It has been very dangerous.

Go Joe!

Palin Didn't Drool - Wingnuts Rejoice

After setting the bar so low that a tapeworm couldn't slither under it, wingnuts join in a mighty "YOO-ESS-AY!" over Plain's stunning display of only marginally incompetent mediocrity in St. Louis on Thursday night.

But the disturbing thing to me was her staking out a power grab for the Vice Presidency over the Senate, and I think almost all Senators, even most Republicans, shuddered in fear and loathing at the prospect of Palin driving legislative agendas in the Upper House. I think she's been listening to the Cheney neocons, trying to position a way for a President McCain to get legislation considered by a Congress that will absolutely hate his guts if he wins.

Oh joy. A Vice President Palin with MORE power than Dick Cheney. I really hope they do try to sell that to the public. And I hope Obama beats them to a pulp with it.

UPDATE: "New-qoo-ler". Seven times. Hehehe.

Katie Couric Saves Her Career

There were many who asked, "Is she ready for prime time?"

There were many who asked, "Can we take her seriously?"

There were many who asked, as recently as last April, "Is she going to keep her job as news anchor?"

But it looks like now she's on track to be the woman who, almost single-handedly, destroyed a major party's presidential campaign.

Without raising her voice.

By merely asking questions of that major party's VP candidate in a calm, detached manner.

Questions that even I, who am certainly nowhere near qualified to hold such an office, could have answered better. While drunk.

I do believe nobody at CBS News is asking those questions anymore. Walter Cronkite should be proud of his network again.

So on behalf of the progressive blogosphere, I say, "Thank you, Ms. Couric."

Job well done.



Gotcha!