The Men In Black

The land of Wingnutsylvania is awash in fear and loathing, as the dreaded regime of That One completes its bloodless coup of all that is good and true in Real America.

The jackbooted thugs of the ATF will soon begin kicking down doors, confiscating guns and rounding up the usual suspects. The expanded surveillance powers so foolishly (in retrospect) given to the Executive Branch to spy on evil brown people will be focused instead on white, god-fearing Real Americans.

Black helicopters will darken the skies.

Yes, Wingnutsylvania, fear us... the black man Man in Black is coming for you all. After carrying you away to our Gay Hip-Hop Liberal re-education camps in the Hollywood hills, we will use the flashy-thingy to erase Chuck Norris, Sean Hannity and Jesus from your memories, and then implant the Muslim brain-blobs into the backs of your necks, rendering you into docile slaves to toil in our underground falafel and tie-dyed t-shirt factories.

Please believe wholeheartedly all the most psychotic ravings you all can find on the Intertubes. Echo them through your blogs loudly in ALL CAPS. Double down on the crazy. Leave no doubt in the minds of anyone else who can rub two brain cells together that you are all unequivocally, certifiably out of your fucking minds.

Do it for baby Jesus.